Print
EmailThe secret to a long marriage or
relationship is communications.
If you don’t communicate with your
partner effectively, then your relationship is doom. It’s as simple as that!
Your finance could be good. Your future
could be good. Your health could be good. Your goals could be within reach.
However, if your communication channels aren’t working, then everything will
suffer.
Nobody can read minds
We need to be told things. We need to
be told things multiple times. We need to be told things in different ways. We
need examples. We need visual aids. We need to see the math. We need proof.
That is a lot that we need, so most importantly, we need patience. Simply put,
we need time for the message to sink in our brain. Even professional
politicians struggle to get the message across, so don’t expect change so
quickly. Communications over time leads to understanding.
You’re not always
right
Good communications is a two direction
path. You BOTH need to understand. Understanding each other does not require
surrendering your own opinion. He needs to understand her differences. She
needs to understand his differences. Nobody likes dictatorship. Dictatorship is
marriage to slavery. Understanding through communication leads to respect.
Respect is the key to long lasting relationships.
Does action really
speak louder than words?
Not always! Actions make us believe the
words (or not believe the words). But without the words, actions cannot be
prevented! Body language can be alien or hard to interpret like sign language.
Walking back and forth, pouting, and slamming things only states anger or frustration.
What are you angry about? What frustrating you? Perhaps you are upset over a
misunderstanding. Things are NOT always what they seem, so we need
communications to explain the actions.
It is not what you
say, but how you say it
Self-defense is essential to survival.
The human brain is trained to protect itself against harmful actions. You may
have a genius point to make, but if your vocal or action is insulting or
unpleasant, then the point become invalid. Watch your mood.
Timing is everything
Not only do you have to watch your own
mood, but you have to watch your partner’s mood. Your interpretation can easily
be influence by the type of day you had. If you understand this, then this
applies to your partner too. Communicate with your partner when vibes are low,
things are calm, and everyone WANTS to listen. Nobody likes to talk to a wall.
Wait until the ear is listening and your partner ask questions. That is the
perfect time to explain whatever you need your partner to understand.
Be a good listener
Give your partner eye contact once in a
while. You may be listening to everything, but your partner can NOT see that.
Brief eye contact usually indicates that you heard a point or you have a
question. If you don’t give brief eye contact while you are spoken to, then
your partner might talk on forever because he or she is searching for ways to
get their point heard.
Don’t control your
listeners
Your listeners do NOT have to agree to
everything (or anything). Your listeners do NOT have to give eye contact if
they don’t agree. Remember, eye contact is a sign of agreement or questions. If
they don’t agree, then that could be the reason why they refuse to give eye to
eye contact. Looking into a person’s eye becomes intensive, when you don’t
agree. People look away when they are trying to avoid making situations worst.
Those are the clues to look for, to judge when to adjust your point… or when to
agree to disagree. Do not try to
push your point across if your partner already rejected the idea. Respect each
other. Understand each other. There are two sides to a story.
